Never Got To Hold You Frerard M-Preg
by CyanideDetonator
Summary: Gerard is pregnant. He and Frank are overly excited and happy. Though things go south. Will they be able to cope with loss? [Warning: Feels]


Gerard felt his large stomach. _Mine_, he thought to himself. He glanced at his lover, who was softly caressing Gerard's belly. _No, ours. _He was having a baby with the love of his life. Gerard wasn't sure how it was possible to be so happy, but he was. Frank had a soft, genuine smile; he held his gaze on the pregnant belly, covered in stretch marks and an outie belly button, his eyes glistening. He looked up to Gerard.

"I love you." Frank said, tears in his eyes.

"I love you too, darling." Gerard whispered back.

"I can't believe we are having our baby soon," Frank's eyes were slowly releasing tears. Gerard gently brushed them away with his thumb. Frank held Gerard's hand on his face, he felt it, so soft yet weary. He loved Gerard more than anything he could think of. Now they will soon have a baby. Something that is _them_. Frank was over whelmed with happiness. _Nothing_ could ruin this.

Gerard doubled over in pain. "Frank!" He screeched. Something wasn't right. He heard pounding footsteps reminisce through the house.

"Gerard? Gerard!" he quickly came over to Gerard, holding him. "Gerard, baby what's wrong? What happened?" Frank said quickly, trying to be louder than the dissonant sounds Gerard was screaming.

"It hurts! Frankie it hurts!" Gerard screamed, tears pouring down his face. "The baby! Something's wrong with the baby!" he cried.

Frank looked down, underneath Gerard, there was blood dripping from his pants. "Oh my god, no," Frank pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911. A lady answered and he explained the situation and gave her the address.

Gerard was crying, screaming for it to stop. Frank was bawling, in fear of what is wrong. In sympathy for Gerard, wanting to help him, to help the pain go away, but he didn't know how.

The ambulance arrived and they were taken to the hospital. Frank, holding Gerard's hand as Gerard screamed for it to be over.

Frank was moved out of the way when Gerard went in. He was forced to stay in the waiting room, worried and waiting for news. Good news; that never came.

Frank walked into the room that Gerard laid in. Next to Gerard was an incubator, holding Franks little angel. _Cassidy Jean Marie Iero_. So, so small; so precious. Frank couldn't believe what was happening. The small baby was born 3 months early. The doctors weren't sure if she would make it. Wires and cords all around her, Frank could hardly look. He fell to his knees. "Sweetie…" He whispered, tears pouring without control. "My baby girl…" He choked. He buried his face in his hands, weeping into them. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Mikey standing there, tears in his eyes.

"I'm so… sorry." Mikey said, his voice trembling. He looked at Frank.

"She's so… So small, Mikey…" Franks look of desperate sadness shook Mikey. Frank put his trembling hands back up to cover his face, sobbing uncontrollably. "_So fragile_." He squeaked. Mikey put his arms around Frank's shoulders and pulled him into a brotherly hug, tears pouring down both of the men's faces.

"Shh, she'll be okay, Frank, it's all gonna be okay." Mikey comforted Frank the best he could, though his own voice had doubt in it.

A groan came from Gerard. Frank rushed to his side, "Darling, are you okay?" Frank asked, stroking Gerard's hair.

Gerard grunted. "The baby…?" He asked.

Frank swallowed hard. "She's… She's alive, Gerard."

"How is she?" Gerard asked, though relief was flooded through his face.

"She's…" Frank looked down, trying not to cry again. "Right there," he motioned his head to the incubator with the small infant inside.

Frank could feel Gerard tense up. He looked at Gerard, his eyes swelling with tears. "My baby..." he said softly with a low breath. He looked at Frank with desperate, begging eyes. "Our baby, Frankie, she's so tiny…" tears were flooding his delicate skin.

Frank leaned in and held Gerard close. Gerard sobbed into Franks shoulder. Frank cried more, his face red from crying so hard. He squeezed the sobbing man tightly. "She'll be okay, Gerard. She will be, I promise." Frank spoke through tears. "She has to be… She _needs_ to be." Frank sobbed even more, grasping Gerard tighter.

Gerard and Frank stared at the small infant. She was so beautiful, feeble. Frank fell asleep in the patient chair after waiting hours to hear any information about her. Gerard drifted in and out of consciousness.

Frank was roughly awoken. The sound of loud beeps and doctors rushing in, yelling, filled his head.

"I need three milliliters of…" –-"Losing pulse, I'm losing pulse!" Yelling and rushing doctors crowed around Frank's angel.

"Wha…" Frank said groggily, "What's wrong?" He became more alert. "What's wrong with my baby!?" he became frightened. A nurse gently tugged him.

"Sir, please, back up." She said, trying to give doctors room.

"My baby, what's happening what's wrong?" Frank said desperately, though backing up to give doctors room.

Frank moved out of the room, hearing the commotion go on without him. He heard Gerard's voice, "My baby! No, baby! Sweetie!" He screeched. Suddenly, everything went quiet.

"Do you want to call it, Andy?" said a sullen voice.

"Cassidy Iero 3:40a.m pronounced… dead." A man with a deep voice said.

Frank rushed into the room; he looked at the motionless infant in the incubator. His eyes filled with more tears, then began flooding his face. "Cassidy… My angel…" He dropped to his knees. Gerard was screaming next to him. Frank looked down and buried his face in his hands. He sobbed, not carrying about the doctors looking sympathetically at him.

"My baby…" His trembling voice mumbled. "My baby!" he yelled. He was completely broken. He couldn't feel his own face. He was utterly morbid. His baby was dead. _Dead_. How could—how could he let this happen? His mind rushed with thoughts. _It's my entire fault._ He couldn't stand to look at his sweet angel lying lifelessly; coldly.

He shakily stood up, grasping Gerard's bed. He crawled onto the bed that held his sobbing lover. He put his arms around Gerard, pushing him into his own chest, holding him while they both wept. Tears soaked Frank's shirt, though Frank had no thought of it. He wanted so badly to hold his baby, to see her smile; to watch her grow into a beautiful young lady. Now he won't be able too. Now he will be unable to raise his precious angel, and he had never felt so hurt.

"I… I saw, Frank." Gerard bawled. "I saw her move, and kick her legs just a little…" Gerard looked up at Frank with pleading, desperately sad eyes. "_I saw her live_." He whimpered.

Frank didn't know what to say, so he held Gerard closer. Holding him to his chest as tears streamed down his cheeks. They sat there for what seemed like hours bawling; they had just lost their baby girl_. They lost everything. _

Frank looked at the floor. He wasn't ready to go anywhere. He didn't want to go out.

"Frank, we promised." Gerard said mournfully. Frank looked up. Gerard was wearing an all-black suit. His hair was black, tinted with burgundy. He had no make-up on, since he hadn't felt like doing much of anything since this happened.

"I know." Frank stated. Frank himself was wearing a black suit with a small pink bow on the lapel. He stood up. His stomach was tied in knots; all he wanted was to get back into his sweat pants and block the entire world away. He would lay in his bed like he had been for the past few days, weeping. Sometimes silently, sometimes moaning and screeching for his baby girl to come back to him.

They got into the car, their eyes already swelling with tears. Frank leaned his head against the seat as Gerard pulled out of the drive way and drove to the church.

The service was touching to others, though to Gerard and Frank, it was dreadful. Having to hear the sermon of a 5 hour old infant would be sullen, though when it's your own child? It's the most painful thing Gerard and Frank had to bare in their life. It was overwhelming for them. Tears silently dripped down both of their faces. Mikey put a comforting hand on Gerard's shoulder and gave him a squeeze. Gerard bit his lip and doubled over. He closed his eyes tightly, tears dripping from his eyelashes onto his pants. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and rocked back and forth a little. He felt a hand on his head.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Frank whispered. He bent over too, towards Gerard, "_I'm so sorry." _He whispered again, his voice trembling. He balled his fist and whimpered; his eyes flowing steadily with tears. All he could feel was pain. All either of them could feel was pain, bitter pain.

The sermon ended, and Gerard and Frank got up, to say their speech.

They had prepared a speech, but they didn't care about that now. They were going to say what came from their hearts. What they felt.

"Having to… watch your own child suffer for five hours wrapped in wires and tubes is so hard," Gerard began, "But then watching your little baby, falling in love with the baby, but then it be ripped away from you, it's…_ torture_. " Gerard never stopped crying, through his whole speech, tears were pouring down and his shaky voice would break like a boy hitting puberty.

"It's not fair." Gerard said, and laughed weakly, "It ever is, no matter how depressing that may seem. It just isn't." Gerard wiped tears carelessly away, only to have them replaced with more. "I'm so sorry, Frank, that I couldn't do this for you. I'm so sorry that I could make a baby like I'm supposed to, Frankie, I failed you." Gerard began sobbing. "_I'm so sorry, Frank." _

Frank put his arms around Gerard, moved the microphone away, and whispered in Gerard's ear, "it's okay love, I promise. It always will be okay. As long as we have each other, Gee, we'll make it."

"Promise, Frankie?"

"I promise."


End file.
